you loved me to the moon but then you got lost by Julia Vu (16, California)*

​I. growth 
when i met you, you were a garden of 
bounty where nature reigns superior and, around 
you, i could lose myself in the skies kissed golden 
and trees intermingled with the stars above, i could 
melt into a tornado of rose petals and stars 
divine; i could sink into the throes of savage passion.

---

i painted the soft thumping of your pulse into 
constellations, i whispered your name into 
the roses in front my window, i smeared the woody 
scent of your pheromones into aged parchment, i 
carved your touch onto my skin in crimson rose 
blossoms, i burned every last message you sent me 
and kept the ashes in a golden chest on my 
bedside; my darling, i was good to you. 

you loved me like a rose, caressing my crimson petals between your fingers. 
​
II. decay 
the day you untied your ribbon from around my 
neck, you tasted like warm milk and lavender and 
your voice was imperial blue. your fingers were soft, 
that day, when they gently loosened the silk and 
pulled it free, and when the winter air prickled my 
neck, i could feel my entire body start to quiver. 

if i could, i would slice my dignity with the last 
words you whispered into my hair and sacrifice my 
blood to the moon for the chance to be reborn 
from stardust; does the world grant the right 
people at the wrong time second chances? i would 
stab your white promises and broken eyes into 
my throat and bleed the reasons why, without 
you, i am nothing. i would drive my teeth into 
my thighs and rip out every last inch that you touched 
and use my skin to cover-up the recordings of your 
laughter that was suddenly playing on loop in my brain. 

perhaps you had forgotten that flowers need water, too. 

III. what comes after 
i think i spent way too much of my time 
writing poetry that i’d never showed and writing
letters that i’d never sent and imagining what the words “i love you” would sound like coming out of your mouth. i’m tired of being jealous over something that was never mine. some people are like clouds, the days are just brighter without them. in the end, you tried and you cared and, sometimes, that’s enough. 

i am not your rose and what we had was not love.

​