weight by Abby Bacall (16, New Jersey)

my thoughts are a jumbled mess tonight as every night and 
they crisscross like tangled jump ropes within the confines of my mind. 
i lie on the floor 
staring up at the ceiling 
uncaring as the light is 
burned into my retinas. ​

---

the minutes on the clock tick past but i do not register the 
passing of time as i wait for 
the wave of apathy to fade 
and for the crushing pressure in the cavern of my chest to be lifted. 

sometimes i feel as though 
i do not want this existence 
this heavy burden 
for which i did not ask. 
sometimes i feel as though 
i cannot bear the weight of it 
for even a 
moment 
more.

​