Trans Joy by Kai Peters (16, Colorado)

Joy sprouting from a needle, injected into my stomach
Joy found in going through puberty a second time
 

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Joy when I finally train myself to say my shoe size in men’s
Joy when people tell me the direction of the men's room
 
Joy found when my grandpa finally, begrudgingly, uses my name
Joy when I am called 'he', even though I really prefer ‘they’
 
Joy when my birth certificate came in the mail,
Joy in the way I am made fun of for the middle name 'Earl'
 
Joy when my calves get bigger, no longer feminine,
Joy when my mom's friend tells her 'I didn't know you had a son'
 
Joy when my friends use my pockets (now giant) to carry their things
Joy seeping from my pores when I am assumed cis,
 
Even though I would rather die than be cis,
Would rather die than miss out on this
 
Do cis people get the pleasure of this euphoria
From nothing but a stranger's use of pronoun?
 
From nothing but which bathroom they are given directions to?
From nothing but getting a birth certificate in the mail?
 
Can cis people find joy in puberty,
Even if it was their second one?
 
There is no such thing as 'Cis Joy'
But there is 'Trans Joy'
 
I find that to be telling
 
 
Kai Peters is a 16 year old who lives in Aurora, Colorado. They have recently earned a Scholastic Gold Key for a separate poem, but have no other writing experience. They enjoy expressing different parts of their experience being transgender through their poems.