total defeat by Malak Ibrahim (17, Pennsylvania)

every morning i wake up with the same feeling 
the feeling of existential dread 
of being stuck in what is essentially a glorified hell loop 
i wake up with a pang in my stomach 
a mixture of hunger and despair 
i look in the fridge for something to satisfy 
but then i look up and it’s already time ​

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i sit through my classes unable to keep my eyes awake 
maybe it was due to yet another restless night 
or my body trying to preserve what little nutrients are coursing through its veins i stare at the clock 
tick tock 
tick tock 
counting the minutes until i'll be reunited with my bed 
at last, i return 
i claw through the kitchen like a starved wolf 
and yet 
i still feel that same gnawing pain after i eat 
i make my way to my room 
i try to start my homework but my eyes betray me and i fall asleep, pen in hand i wake up to darkness pouring through the window and i look at the time: five hours have since passed 
defeated, i wipe away the tears and climb into bed

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