the mermaid in the bathroom by Tho Nguyen (16, California)*

[Content warning: mentions of self-harm, depression]

i.
there is a mermaid in the bathroom, and her alabaster heart splays moondust on the tiles.
 
i find iridescent tears clogging the drain / unconsciously, my fingers reach out to clutch / beauty in its final moments, reveries / fluttering like decaying butterflies to a sky / with opened arms.

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she watches when the trembling of my shoulders knocks / ribcage out from under me, / when the sorrow doesn’t rinse / out from my scalp. / and this time, i feel her pulse streaming / rivulets between my thighs.

ii.
there is a mermaid in the bathroom, and her letters read subdued, sloping cursive finer than sea glass. i read each one like it will wash away. (has she found mine, streaking down the shower walls?)
 
coarse words cry out in carnelian / mother always said scarlet suited my skin. / the mermaid doesn’t think so. / instead, she paints with abalone shell on my collarbone / and tells me i can be any color i want, opalescent / skimming the horizon. / her pearls sing to me / symphonies of somnolence always / fleeting from my fingertips. / (but the dream always ends / when i crash on the rocks.)
 
the pearls are too pretty for / the bracelets i wear on my wrists, though; / blood drips sunsets onto sand dunes / long enough for my lungs to drink the sun.
 
iii.
there is a mermaid in the bathroom, and her molted tail shimmers when i pick it up.
 
the world in front of me pales to limned scales. / they smile back at me, shattered / yet kaleidoscopic. / to know how the lanterns of jellyfish / filter through the dark / to watch as coral reefs / with arms outstretched / flourish with life / to breathe in the seas / of our ancestors. / and to leave it all.
 
the window peers open like a / bird before the coastline, and / the waves’ sweet lullaby / answers back in my ears.
 
to think that something made to last forever / can fall in an instant. / (to think that something made in an instant / can last forever.)
 
iv.
there is a mermaid in the bathroom. and her cobalt eyes stare back at me in the mirror.

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