Tears Flowing Down My Cheeks by Rishabh Jain (18, India)*

tears flowing down my cheeks,
back to the wall, nowhere to go.
memories that surge and hurt,
memories that were buried.
tears flowing down my cheeks,
as I sit, alone, no one to turn to.
​
tears flowing down my cheeks,
as I sit up, hiding my pain.
putting on a mask, a fake smile,
and walking back out, acting
as if nothing was wrong.
as if every living moment I
didn’t want to cry out for help.

---

tears flowing down my cheeks,
walking through the crowd,
my smile hiding my pain.
no one suspects, no one.
no one cares enough to suspect.
one face in the crowd though,
looks up and knows.
knows the truth, the pain, the hurt.

tears flowing down my cheeks,
back to the wall, nowhere to run.
past long ago coming back to haunt.
pain from time past, striking back once more.
I close my eyes, trying to forget.
I open my eyes to wear my mask once more.
when in front of me, a hand stays.
a hand begging me to catch on.
to let me be helped. to let it help.

tears flowing down my cheeks.
skeptical, worried, I ignore the hand,
until the hand refuses to leave.
refuses to leave and let me be.
part of me wants to trust.
the part that loves.
the part that wants to love again.
another part wants to cut it out.
to never let it in, to not be hurt.
split in my mind, I decide.

tears flowing down my cheeks,
I lean against the shoulder.
I cry out my sorrows, as the hand
comforts me, as the voice soothes me.
I cry and cry and cry.
the voice never leaves.

tears flowing down my cheeks,
but for once, when I’m done,
I don’t put on the mask.
I walk out as I am.
confident in myself as I exist.
the stares hurt, but before I can hide,
the hand pulls me out of the pull
the pull of the abyss.
the pull of the void.
​
tears flowing down my cheeks.
but for once, I am not alone.
I am loved. I am wanted.
for once, I finally have a place.
a place where I feel safe.
a place where I feel wanted.
a place where I’m loved.
a place where they care.
a place where I’m happy.