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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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![]() [**Content warning: self-harm, dissociation**] i want to claw apart my skin because something's trapped inside (and i think that something's me) i want to claw apart my skin, to cut it open and let myself bleed out- not to die, but to bloodlet, somehow removing sickness with leeches and pain because there's something trapped inside my skin and i need to let it out i don't know what's trapped there but i think it might be me.. or my feelings. or a part of me or
something. there's something trapped inside my skin. or maybe i'm trapped outside it? (can someone let me in?) it's something about the sensation (i want to claw apart my skin) something about what it does to me, when it opens up and everything inside can come out and i can try and get back in it's like a doorway or a cage or a floodgate or a dam and sometimes it opens and things come out and i go in but it's not really ever open long enough because when it's open (when i claw apart my skin) feelings are so busy trying trying trying to squeeze out that i can't get back inside, and i'm so busy trying trying trying to squeeze my way back in that they can't get out so we just try again and again and again and again and again and again cause there's something trapped inside my skin or outside (or both) and it can't make it through without a doorway or an opening (or maybe a gaping wound?) and not for lack of trying, there is nothing i can do to fix it. i just claw apart and claw apart and claw apart my skin and please, god please, can't someone let me in? Comments are closed.
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September 2023
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