Simply social anxiety? by Emily Chang (15, New York)

 slow slow slow slow slow slow
why don’t the words come out when i want?
why don’t the words come out as i want?

---

​why does it take so agonizingly long to put together
the phrases and sentences that are so simple?
why does it take so long for me to process everything?
 
i want to say so much, but the choked, rambling renditions
that crawl out of my throat are nowhere
near my real thoughts.
 
i could write it okay, tune each word to true thought,
if i had hours, but when i am supposed to respond
the moment blinks by in seconds
 
and i shut down, surrender to panic, and the words
crumble down around my ears.
slow slow slow slow slow slow