Sea by Ha Linh Dang (16, Vietnam)

House.

And you said you wanted a house.

I was not sure what you meant by the house. I have a lovely, two-story house with potted vines wrapped around the fence. Sometimes you went to buy flowers to put in our home. And every time you came back with a bouquet of flowers, you cried.

---

You put the white lilies on the table. There were times when I asked why you didn't put them in the jar, you just laughed and answered because you forgot. At that time, you were strangely emotional and I did not understand your sentimentality.

Today you whisper that:

"I want a house."

I had no opinion but is this house still not good enough. You said that it was not related to quality but you were too empty.

And at those times I would cross my eyes to the sea and whisper incoherently.

"Sometimes we just need to live together under the sea."

Sky.

The sky is very blue today and they show me the clouds drifting across it. The sky was too blue to perplex my eyes. I still remembered there was a little girl joking around with me.

"How come I only know now, it's so sunny today that the clouds don't want to stay."

I remember on rainy days when I was wandering in a certain garden. The smell of damp earth wafted up and my nostrils opened. And at those times, the clouds still stayed with the sky, dense, precipitated in layers, lying next to each other like cotton pillows.

It might be because of the rain, the clouds still stay in the sky. I don't like to explain through scientific verification but just want to understand why clouds leave the sky on a sunny day.

I looked at my house. It reminded me of you. You often said that you were empty and lonely, but in the end, I haven't known why. You often wandered around the window frame on a rainy day. You said you liked the rain because there were clouds in the sky at that time. But the harder it rained, the more your heart sank. You whispered:

"If it's sunny, you'll still stay here, right?"

I didn’t know why you were asking but just hummed. I smiled faintly in response. And later that day, I saw your piece of paper on the table. You were not here anymore. The note read: "The rain has stopped and the sun has risen."

I looked up at the sky. My heart suddenly swelled with a new kind of emotion.

I love you.

I usually have a habit of taking the bus even though I can afford to buy a small car. Maybe I hate the feeling of honking the horn and waiting for each row of cars to move up, for an hour or two.

I had a mental strained issue, mainly due to physical weakness. The doctor also advised me not to work too much, but I couldn't stand it, maybe because of loneliness or because it was too empty.

I usually came home late, so most of the time I didn’t have dinner with you. I think you will get angry, obstinate, and our love will end quickly. But you didn't say anything, you just mumbled and walked quietly. Maybe I'm nothing in your heart.

Since the day you were absent, I have felt very uneasy and uncomfortable. My headache recurred every time I thought of your gloomy smile that day. I was even more annoyed when our private place suddenly became crowded and noisy. The inquisitive neighbors started whispering. I hate the way they just point and stare at our house. They looked at me like a strange creature and talked about me like a psychotic.

Things got more complicated when that day, after work, as usual, a strange woman stood in front of our house and asked me to answer weird questions. She had a gloomy look and pale skin, like a living corpse. I guess she was an investigator, maybe they suspected something. But I know I am innocent, passionate love for you is the strongest proof that no one can shatter.

She started clearing her throat and stared at me with treacherous eyes. Her gaze wasn't as condescending like some of the neighbors, but it made me feel uneasy. Our house has turned into hell. All because of this woman's mournful look.

"We have just received a report of a recent missing agent, sir."

"Probably my lover. She's sick so she's probably going on a trip somewhere."

"Have sickness?" - The woman raised her eyebrow and looked at me with a look of disbelief.

"Yes. She wasn't in a good mood so she probably went on a trip to get better."

"She didn't tell you?"

"She just left a piece of paper and then disappeared. I think she wanted to end up with me."

"Your relationship is not on good terms."

"You can say that. I'm busy with work and she's too sensitive, so our relationship hasn't been very good lately."

"Do you love her?"

You know, that woman's words made my heart freeze. I love you, love you. I miss your smile, your eyes, your gentle hands, etching everything into my memory. But you know what, just for a moment, I didn't feel any daring emotion toward you. Everything is so empty.

That woman was still looking at me. Scary stinging eyes. She raised her voice:

"She still loves you, you just aren't tolerant enough."

I was dumbfounded when I heard this woman speak. She is questioning my love for you. I am tolerant and forgiving enough to be able to forgive your taciturnity, nor do I care about your escaping from my arms.

It was raining heavily outside. Next to the window frame was a pair of paper cranes.

Letter.

"Dear beloved,

I love the sea and can hear it from this position. In front of my eyes, there is a lovely three-story house with rows of vines wrapped in bright sunlight. The sun reflects its rays on the sea - clean and warm. Like the arms that you used to wrap around me.

But I was afraid, I was afraid of the feeling that you suddenly became silent, taciturn. You squeezed every finger into my hand, wrinkled like a cheap silk cloth. You enveloped me with curse words and then soothed me with soft kisses. I love the way you stroke my hair, you would place it with long kisses and hang it on the fragrance of lilies. But then you would tug at my hair, crumple it roughly, and smother it with musty smells.

I love the sea. I love rain. Because it would calm you down. You would always smile softly when the rain came, You would make tea, fold paper cranes and embrace me gently. But when it's sunny, you would be tough, grimacing, and full of roughness.

I want to throw myself into the sea because there I will see you again. No, the real you - a gentle being in the water. I want to pick up every shadow of you left on the water, I will embrace those illusions and keep them with me for the rest of my life. My body is cold but at least my heart is bolted with your soul under the deepest gratitude of the sea.

Then one morning when the rain is over, I hope you get over your headache soon. Then the clouds will come again to embrace you for me.

In the deepest part hidden in my flesh, I love you like I love the sea.

Your dear."

I miss you.
​
"Sometimes we just need to live together under the sea."