Revelations by Brianna Ifland (19, Mountain Home)

My Nana was buried with a shovel in her casket,
​Because she wanted to be the first Baptist
to break through the earth
When the Holy Ghost called them to. 

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When she died, I was the ripe and curious age of eleven. Wondering what she felt,
I would go to my backyard
and lay in the grass.
I’d close my eyes and slow my breath,
Feel the heat of the sun until it was pulled behind the hills, The debris of their hard work
flung into the sky as stars.
When I was called in for dinner,
I’d tell my Mama
I knew what heaven felt like.
At the funeral, Daddy told me stories
Of angels and their trumpets
And the songs they’d blow at the rapture. He was an—
“es-kuh-tah-low-gist.”
The word barely fit in my mouth, Ricocheting off my baby teeth And falling out flat.
He’d drive me to Sunday School, And pop quiz me at each red light.
How many days until Jesus rose? Three
Judas betrayed Him with a— Kiss
Where do you feel God?
The damp earth,
The ripe soil,
The sound of water in the ears
As you lay in a lake,
Everything muddy
But the sky that stretches forever
And the little cousin doggy-paddling past The stray spring water kicked up and cool, Nipping at you like a teething pup.
It is an everyday baptism
And blesses me just the same.
I feel God when I let my body
Sink into the ground, unburied,
Spine kissing the clovers and earthworms, And I picture it all six feet lower.
When I stare at the tree that shades me, And realize the late oak sealed in a pew Bursts with more heaven
When it reached for the sky,
Grew naked in the winter,
And housed baby birds by spring. 

​
Brianna Ifland (19) is a Filipino-American born and raised in Mountain Home. She currently studies Creative Writing and Multimedia Production at the University of Arkansas. Writing about mental health, identity, culture, and relationships, Brianna has since been featured at the Arkansas New Play Festival, Fellows for Two, HaluHalo Journal, and is set to have her work in Paper Crane Journal. She’s also passionate about film, theatre, and radio.