mental illness: the musical off-broadway run by Isabella Fiore (17, Canada)

[Content warning: panic attack, depression]

mental illness: the musical off-broadway run/lights go down/slowly/then all at once/then the theatre becomes unsettling/begins to vibrate/slowly warms itself/darkens/nervously sweats/end of act one/they call that number panic attack/critics say it’s an immersive experience/you feel like you’re having a panic attack/maybe you do have a panic attack/this is the first act/conveniently placed so the cast can have their panic attack before stepping on stage/but they do/

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act two/lights back up/grey this time/and the temperature becomes uncomfortably cold/cue the fog machines/it’s foggy/so foggy the cast can’t see each other/or themselves/or anything but the fog/so they stop moving/lie there/on a couch/in a bed/on the floor/and do nothing/critics say this is the most relatable part/the audience feels the cast/feels depressed/watches their hopelessness and adopts it for themselves/the cast drags themselves from their places/sits on the edge of the stage/gazes into the crowd/and cries/this is the curtain call/instead of applauding/the audience cries too/critics say this is the audience interaction they crave from live performances/ignore the lack of singing/yes/it is a musical/but there is no singing/it is disappointing/much like mental illness/the show ends/audience leaves/drained/no intermission/no reprieve/no break/just uncontrollable emotional swings/fear/sadness/unknown/hazy/encompassed in ninety minutes/it is so accurate no one buys tickets twice/no one wants to feel ill like this/not if they have a choice.