Lost by Anonymous (16, Idaho)

Lurching
In darkness
My hands gripping
The yoke

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For dear life
10,000 feet in the air
The rapid wind gusts Whooshing by
Buffeting the nose gear strut And the wings–
Total darkness below Nothing–but a few lights
To remind me of where I am:
A lonely comet tossed about Far above the world–
Quietly praying
Amid the engine’s whirling
For this harrowing night to end.
II.
When daylight breaks It is not relief–
Just another phase
Of the turbulent world– A brief moment
To pass by
With the blink of an eye– With my destiny at its mercy As I stumble through the sky.
Here a cold blast
Roars from the mottled east
Prying open
The eyelids of a dark Earth.
I watch as the emerald waves below
Lash the naked shores,
And the ocean mist rises in a frenzy,
Torn from the sea’s womb,
Swirling around the wing-tips of my little craft Amid the sun’s relentless glare,
Then spiraling down to sea again, Down, down the delirious blue, Hurled under by the howling winds.
And now I pray for this day to end too.
III.
Still, still I journey onwards,
Praying for a moment of peace–
In my mind the gentle happiness
Of a reassurance
That my craft would not be tossed about Pell-mell by some mercurial force–
But only to have the dreams slip through my fingers Just like the clouds that flee my fingertips
As soon as I touch them,
Deforming and sliding away.
My time is short–already my wings are coated with hoarfrost Tired of a futile pursuit–
Soon they will crumble, weary of the journey,
And, shivering, like a helpless leaf blown from its tree, Doomed to dust,
I must return to the ground.
IV.
I am lost.
Here, in the middle of an uncertain land, In the middle of life’s journey,
I am lost.
I–helpless hermit!
I cannot control where my little craft flies– A single gale is enough to topple me, Press me under the clouds
Trap me in the inescapable skies–
And yet, lurching, tumbling through the air,
I still dare to wonder
I still dare to ask:
If...if in all this chaos, this controlling world, I could ever be
The creator of...my own destiny?