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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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![]() [Content warning: self-harm] and as the last train approached the station, i thought i saw her in the blur of people– chipped nail polish and a leather watch, bubblegum lipstick smeared by city lights beneath the ground, time slipped away the only sky was the depths of her eyes i thought i saw her in a ripped-up dress champagne gold the station almost felt real in the first life my thoughts were wild
believing you were paradise on earth and i could only dream of a world where underneath velvet white veils your smile stays, even when you know i obsess over the sugary gleam of your lipstick and how your eyes enchant skies into ombre sunsets in a colorless world you made me believe in heaven hologrammed by your pastel voice before your ring with his initials and a date years ago scratched me when your fingers laid against my skin a crescent scar that would never heal and now i feel your touch on me haunted, even when i'm sober my fingernails dug into my train ticket, locations unknown, without a time of arrival. through misted windows i saw her silhouette light blended into darkness i couldn’t breathe the back of her hand pressed against the window, her head slumped restless in her palm unmoving; firm, slender fingers entangled with waves of soft black hair scattered on her stiff shoulders; in the last life i needed you most but all i was left with was silence of late nights lost in empty bottles once overflowed with your soft voice echoing the melancholy of loneliness sounded like glass panes shattering until your name suffocated every star but for you i’d take all my last breaths as blades sharpen blood on my skin drowning in pain from your soft glances the lines of colors you’d never read every lifetime wishing i could be yours i reached to grasp for one last chance to only be devoured by hollow darkness never thought i’d see you in this world and now i’m at the edge of insanity in the crests and valleys of her chiseled clavicle i found the faded answers to endless moments of all these lives and the coldness i’d suffocate for. on the station display was no longer today’s date and now the air entangled with blood, i held back my tormented heart from boarding onto the train the ticket slipped from my fingers onto the tracks, just as her last train drifted away from time– Comments are closed.
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September 2023
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