if words are vehicles to translate thought, maybe god should hire a repairman by Alicia Cai (17, Delaware)*

I think on paper. My mouth does not open. Words aren’t pretty when they’re syllables hung in the air, they only look good in petite Times-New-Roman rows. When they tumble off your tongue they feel displaced. They don’t mean what you mean. They’re loose strings of thought, incoherent and irrelevant, not even close to the muscular ropes that tie all of your anxieties up in one concise, consistent character flaw, which for all your perceptiveness you can’t see. Stop annotating yourself and let the ropes unravel. Your brain is clockwork. It only functions when ropes aren’t clogging its gears. 

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I have this fear of being unable to explain myself. Every word I say means something different to you than it does to me, that’s what they call connotation. ​​

So by that logic every sentence I say reads differently to you. Every paragraph. Every topic I talk about. I communicate my output in cubicle words but when it enters into your brain as input, your brain won’t produce an output that’s equivalent to my brain’s original input. We run different equations; we can compute the same x-values and end with different y-value calculations. My internal conclusions are twisted through my words, twisted through your brain, and what you’re left with is a watered-down, clichéd version of my original insight that you can easily discard, because to you, it’s meaningless. If I were you I’d probably think it’s meaningless as well. 

But that’s just how we work. 

We operate continuously until the industry explodes, technological innovation sweeping away the dust in our factories. At long last, the rusted bolts are unscrewed. The machines rearrange themselves according to new blueprints. Their metal surfaces glisten under sunlight.  We smile at this because we like shinier things. We don’t see how much shinier we could be—our clockwork lacks the capacity to see.

Alas, we are upgraded. We comprehend a little more. For now.

Can my words ever rewire your internal equations, or do you have to wait for the next wave of technological innovation to upgrade you?

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