I know you better than you do yourself by Saloni Choudhary (16)

[Content warning: domestic abuse and violence]
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I know you better than you do yourself
Happy clean pictures don't do you justice
The polished mirror doesn't show how you look 
The true charm is through the blurry screen
Teary eyes knows what it has seen

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I know how the siren sounds
Under the shelter voices of war around
Grinding of your teeth
Clenching of your jaw
Thud of footsteps on the ground
The flicker of the flames
Boiling your blood
And cracking of a piece of heart
Breaking just to choke my throat

Sacred me too death 
Held onto my breath
Shut close my eyes
Waited for the impact

I remember a childhood day
lightening struck and it rained
I placed my cheek onto your arm
And guarded by your warm shade
My dollie and I slept unafraid
Where is this version of you now? 
Now it's such a shame
That my cheek remembers your touch a different way

A fraction of second , a single frame
Stuck on repeat on the only screen 
Inside the sad theatre of my head
I have watched it too many times

Tattooed your finger prints
Scratched your name into the wall
Learned lived and died alone
Begging for explanation
Standing across the court hall
A split second will last so long

And when I looked out from the bunker
To see your heroic posture
Nothing had happened 
Nothing had changed
The sting vanished soon pain remained

Slipped out of your grip
Got lost in the aisle 
Outgrew princess dress
Turned a mascara mess

The ghost story, my first nightmare
And the monster under the bed 
Doesn't look much scary
Then the resemblance you bear
I know this version all too well

One little hand wouldn't cling to a finger anymore
When you come back I don't get excited like before
What have you done to me? 
Your little girl didn't only cry
After closing the door
I know you better than you do yourself
And your true self makes my heart sore
What did you do to us ? 

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