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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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![]() It began at the base of your navel, a lonesome twinge, a subtle ache for something more. But you refused to grant it nourishment, to feed the monster you dubbed a hindrance against yourself. So call it pathetic, call it unstable, turn your back and do your best to forget. From within, it would only grow
to consume your abdomen with an absence, make you gasp, clutch, and leek tears behind your veil of fake smiles, forced laughs. But the sorrow would source a sense of control. To bare the beast, you learned to tame it with sacrifices—throw in friendship, throw in performance, throw in bits and pieces of your happiness, once broken, convinced you that perhaps they were never needed. Because once you became one with the pain, you indulged in it. You lived, breathed, and moved with it. You forgot it was pain until it faded to a numb sensation beneath the rolling waves of feelings that ricocheted off your fabricated armor. You were deaf even to the beat of your own heart, which thrummed at a devastatingly slowing pace. You were blind even to your dimming reflection, your sunken cheeks and your gradually thinning shadow. Yes, it would take someone else’s ears and eyes to recognize your silenced cry for help. Comments are closed.
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May 2023
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