Her Shadow by Diya Chaudhary (16, California)

She lived in her own world. It was less of a world though, and instead seemed to resemble a shadow more. She lived in a shadow. It followed her around like a puppy-eyed dog would to an owner. It lingered in the corner of every classroom she would be sitting in the back of. It would watch her as she got into the back of a car after a tiring day of school. It would question her as she got home and barged straight to her room in a clear state of distress. It would stare at her as she stared in disgust at herself in the mirror. It would judge her as she crawled into bed and slowly started her soft weeps of the night.

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Her shadow chased her everywhere. 

It seemed to follow her into the creases of her mind she kept closed. 

She wakes up to the sound of the birds chirping and the smell of fresh pancakes, 3 out of the 5 days of the school week. It watched her as even that didn’t seem to please her. Instead of the buttermilk pancakes and sweet smell of cranberry sauce, she chose to eat the vast emptiness of nothing instead. It watched her as she walked out the door and into the world where she would once again be faced with the same shadow she lurked in. 

Her shadow chased her everywhere. 

It seemed to follow her into the emptiness of her heart. 

She rested her head on her pillow. It watched her as she picked up her phone and went to her text thread with him. It stared at her as her smile started to grow. It questioned what she was doing that made her smile so much. It judged her as she started to click the “call” button. It peeked at her as she rolled over to the colder side of the pillow and held her stomach from laughing so hard. It watched as her smile started to grow soft towards midnight. It followed her footsteps as she got up and put her phone down and took a deep breath. It stared at her as she formed a smile. It judged her because that was something it had never seen before. 

Her shadow chased her everywhere. 

It seemed to follow her into the depths of her soul. 

She walked outside of her house into the bright sun with a shadow casting over her flowing dress. It watched her as she chased her shadow down the street. It judged her for thinking she could catch it. It watched her as her pearly white teeth glistened in the sunshine with a rainbow over her head. It questioned why she looked so happy and a part of it made it mad. It judged her as she danced around the street as if she was in a movie. It wondered why she wasn’t lurking in the shadows anymore. 

Her shadow chased her everywhere. 

It seemed to follow her to the slivers of her mind which started to slowly open up. 

She looked around and chose to look up at the moon. It watched her as she thought about what it would be like to be up in space. It judged her as it realized it would have to go with her if she went to space. It wondered why she was dreaming such big things, as her mind had always been closed and muted. It questioned why she felt so free. It stared at her as she finally started to stare at something other than her body. It watched her as she didn’t judge herself. It watched her as she let go of her shadow. 

Suddenly it stopped watching, judging, and questioning her. This time, it did not exist. She let go of her shadow and her shadow stopped chasing her. 

From then on, she never looked down.