Growing Pains by Lydia Bae (Washington)

In the darkness, I dream
Of self-destruction
A step forward and
The thousand cups and glasses
Once balanced on my frame
Falling,
A million broken
Shards glittering
Their foregone conclusion

---

In the light, a prayer
Let me go, let me go, let me go
The cold clink 
Of my lungs
Twin coffins
Filled with
Molten, pliable steel

Each crevice
Groans (guttural, pained)
They echo, trapped in the valley
Of my torso
Blind to the white
Twilight of my resignation
My ribs ache
 
My feet grasp
The edge of a cliff
A drop of infinite height
Into periwinkle sky
Below I see rivers
Thick as twigs
And dead, writhing fish
Gills gasping for oxygen
They cannot breathe.