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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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![]() [content warning: death, eating disorders] what happened to me? i was a rosy-cheeked girl with a figure as thin as the tooth of a fine comb a vehicle for hatred and jealousy but also love and adoration how did i end up like this at the peak of my youth dead and inflated on the kitchen floor? i know what happened
it was late in the evening my frail body illuminated by the refrigerator light i told myself i could walk away at anytime but immediately took it back as lying to oneself is a heinous thing to do looking up at the night sky i whispered a prayer for redemption my last words before the metamorphosis my fangs dripped sweat in anticipation the mucoid liquid foreign to the human body there wasn’t much human left in me blood rushing to my stomach, staring at my victims with beady eyes i carried myself with a queer air that wasn’t my first transfiguration friday nights were reserved for guilt-ridden kitchen tete-a-tetes that led to bloody, nausea-inducing exorcisms the morning after but that night was different i knew that death was near and i got ready to consummate my fatal affair i snuck off on a clandestine rendezvous with the food under my cupboard picking of the mold like a day old scab and sinking my teeth into the forbidden fruit the coroner declared it death by over-consumption by the end of the night, the fridge was empty i was found lying in a sea of carcasses an elephant graveyard of poultry bones it was the poisonous apple that killed me it punctured my stomach and twisted at my heart the purging happened post mortem the food seeping out of my stomach during the autopsy feeling refreshed and light once again i felt ready to venture to the afterlife i skipped down the stairs to purgatory my forehead red and sweaty shaking in shame yet content internally i was never an angel my external beauty never reflected the inside so i brushed of any anxious feelings and sat in the waiting room ready to shake hands with the devil herself Comments are closed.
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November 2023
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