Eveline by Anonymous (14, Canada)

[content warning: death, eating disorders]

what happened to me?
i was a rosy-cheeked girl
with a figure as thin as the tooth of a fine comb
a vehicle for hatred and jealousy
but also love and adoration
how did i end up like this
at the peak of my youth
dead and inflated on the kitchen floor?

---

i know what happened
it was late in the evening
my frail body illuminated by the refrigerator light
i told myself i could walk away at anytime
but immediately took it back
as lying to oneself is a heinous thing to do
looking up at the night sky
i whispered a prayer for redemption
my last words before the metamorphosis

my fangs dripped sweat in anticipation
the mucoid liquid foreign to the human body
there wasn’t much human left in me
blood rushing to my stomach, staring at my victims with beady eyes
i carried myself with a queer air

that wasn’t my first transfiguration
friday nights were reserved for guilt-ridden kitchen tete-a-tetes 
that led to bloody, nausea-inducing exorcisms the morning after
but that night was different
i knew that death was near
and i got ready to consummate my fatal affair
 
i snuck off on a clandestine rendezvous
with the food under my cupboard
picking of the mold like a day old scab
and sinking my teeth into the forbidden fruit

the coroner declared it death by over-consumption
by the end of the night, the fridge was empty
i was found lying in a sea of carcasses
an elephant graveyard of poultry bones
it was the poisonous apple that killed me
it punctured my stomach
and twisted at my heart
the purging happened post mortem
the food seeping out of my stomach during the autopsy
feeling refreshed and light once again
i felt ready to venture to the afterlife

i skipped down the stairs to purgatory
my forehead red and sweaty
shaking in shame
yet content internally
i was never an angel
my external beauty never reflected the inside
so i brushed of any anxious feelings
and sat in the waiting room
ready to shake hands with the devil herself