ER by Tanvi Dahuja (Missouri)

[content warning: mentions of death, negative self talk]

the worst feeling / is knowing i’m about to die / death’s cold fingertips clutching my neck / coughing up blue dust / eyes blinded by the flash of light / i call for help, scream for it / down the stairs into the room / my father’s angry eyes / into the car driving off into the night /

---

2am falling asleep at the wheel / bags under the receptionist’s eyes / taking off my clothes / yellow regret spilling out of my mouth / my head is cotton / my knees are twigs / little blue circles on my chest / the external ringing in my ears / from the angry blue machine / telling me i’m sick / i’m stupid / i’m worthless / my mother asleep on her chair / but the stress lines on her forehead remain / i regret it