Drudgery of Despair by Maansi Singh (13, India)

[content warning: anxiety, panic attack]
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The world spun around me. It was swallowing me, burying me in a deep, murky hole. I couldn’t breathe.  Wiggle your fingers 
Count from 100, counts of three 
No. None of it made sense. All the overwhelming thoughts jumbled around. I
needed air. 100. 97.. 94..9… 

---

What if I never make it. 
I’m worthless… 
Hot torrents of worry coursed down my blood rushed face.  
There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide this shame. This worry. Anxiety. 
Was I dying? 
Footsteps approached me. 
It’s coming. It’s coming to devour me, like a pouncing cheetah with
bloody paws. I was losing control. My heart dropped down, thudded in
my chest. 
My vision disfigured. 
What was it that she had said? Picture… a painting? No.. a happy place? Focus on
one object All around me were white empty walls, gaping at me with repugnance,
scoffing.  I was stranded. Bile rose in my throat, causing me to choke.  
I heard a loud thud.  
There I was, now fallen to the ground, lying helplessly like a dead fish. 
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exh.......
“Roselyn?... ROSELYN!” 
I sucked in a sharp breath. Blurry skin tones appeared in front of my eyes. Long locks of
auburn hair,  hues of black and grey. I was too overwhelmed to see the details. 
When will this end? 
I felt a tug, my hand clasped to someone else’s 
And then everything blacked out.