cry me to nirvana by Alex Choi (18, Virginia)

[content warning: self harm]

time immemorial was my last dream 
there is no place for dreams in a body devoid of imagination
in a soul that is deviant 
with usurped fallacies and broken delusion 
​
rather my nights are empty 
only to be succeeded by hollower days 
the sun that rises and falls 
i can at least count on that 

---

exalt me 
far away from debauchery 
upon a bloated cloud 
above the prejudices and vices of the poisoned soils

//
 
take possession of a fine point needle 
and stab it to suck the blood out your porous veins
the conniving smirk euphoric across your face as
you wear your gluttony like lipstick 

call me nothing but distinctly human 
not the sinner nor the saint 
but a mere masochist who seeks enlightenment
whose catharsis will write my passage 

fields of a darkened sorrow 
i reap nonetheless 
for there’s no grain 
that is truly bountiful forever 

cry me to nirvana 
i cackle on a buddha’s pendant 
let my tears 
carry me all the way​