All the Kids Are Depressed by KatieAnn Nguyen (15, California)

Content warning: depression, self-harm

she pulls the cigarette to her lips 
liking the taste of tobacco on her tongue 
the sensation of burning in her chest 
and she thinks it'll heal her numb heart 
as she inhales that poison that makes her feel good inside/

---

he stares at his bleeding wrists 
tiny slits of red that shine as bright as rubies 
and he thinks that by doing this 
it will finally make him feel something in his  
black and gray world
but all he feels is the shattered fragments of his heart 
as he slides the blade across his wrist/​​
they stand at the edge of the world
the wind in their hair as they look at the water below 
thinking that those currents will feel better 
than the venomous thoughts that fill their minds 
and they think that the currents 
will be able to carry them away from the pain that torments them 
and they'll take that step 
thinking that no one loves them/
she looks at the sleeping boy next to her 
as he wraps his arms around her, holding her close 
and she thinks that it's love he's giving her 
when all she feels inside is emptiness 
thinking that the love he gives her 
will be enough to fill up that hole in her chest 
as she clings to him, afraid of being alone/ 
they hold the pills in their hands 
white little things that promise to take them away 
to a world where nothing else exists 
a fake promise that they'll be happy with a single gulp 
and they'll believe that lie if it takes them away far enough 
as long as their happiness will be real 
and they're thinking this as they swallow those pills/
we put our Airpods in our ears 
drowning out the world around us 
pulling our hoodies over our heads 
thinking that if we hide it'll make us invisible 
wearing fake smiles as our tired eyes droop closed 
counting down the seconds until the day ends 
because we're tired of a world where our pain rings true 
because all the kids are depressed