A Guide to Being a Good Korean Girl by Haemin Yun (14, Philippines)

Picture from MAHI Leather; click picture for link.

(After Jamaica Kincaid)

​​Eat your breakfast faster, you’re going to be late for your first day of 8th grade. Make sure your skirt doesn’t go above the knee and wear underpants under your skirt. Listen to the teacher and don’t crack jokes with your friends during class. Adults take first impressions seriously so remember that before you make any choices you’re going to regret. After school, make sure you don’t skip any of your academies and put in all your effort. You have math, art, English and piano today. When you’re done with your academies, don’t eat junk food so you don’t lose your appetite just like you did last time when you ate a whole bag of hot Cheetos secretly before dinner. Also don’t use all your allowance at once. I’m not giving you more this week. Please check on halmoni and halabuji on the way home and pick up some side dishes from them. Halmoni said she is packing bulgogi, doenjang jjigae, radish kimchi, bean sprouts and your favorite galbijjim. Thank them and hangout and talk to them about your school with them for a bit before you come home but don’t be too late. It is dangerous these days.

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There have been so many assault cases happening. Call your appa or me if you want us to pick you up at the entrance. On the way home, please buy a bottle of caffe latte from the CU across the Gong Cha store in Jamsil Lotte. Your sister wants the creamy one with a bit of cinnamon on it. When you get home, wash your hands and throw away the mask in the proper bin. You know how strict Korea is with recycling. Then come to the dining room for dinner and don’t put your elbow on the table. Don’t be picky and eat all the side dishes that are laid on the table. When you are done eating, scrape and eat all the leftover rice balls in your bowl and make sure there are none left. Put them in the sink along with your spoon and chopsticks. Come back to the dining table until everyone is finished with their meal then help me clean up and cut the fruits for dessert. Cut the skin of the apple thinly until the apple is fully yellow and place it neatly on a plate and serve them with mini flower forks on a tray. Make sure not to drop any fruits on the ground and walk carefully to the living room back up straight like a princess walking down the hall. After you are excused, take a shower and wash your face with proper face wash so you don’t get any pimples. Do not touch your face with your dirty hands. It’s going to break your skin even more. Dry your hair after in the bathroom so your room doesn’t get filled with strands of hair. Comb your hair until it is straight like chopsticks then go to your room and work on your homework for school and tutorials. Try and reduce making sounds or else our neighbors will complain. Don’t get  your phone too much and leave your phone in my room so you don’t get distracted during your study. You need to get good grades or your allowance for this week will go down and I warned you. Juhyuk’s mom told me he was top three in the class for the exam last month. I expect you to reach the top three too. If you do, there’s something you can look forward to. Thank you for always trying hard in your studies and you know that I love you a lot. But please stop fighting with your brother. He’s sensitive right now so stop before anything big happens. Remember you’re the older one so act like it and be kind to him. Stop texting your friends and try reading some books please. Good night.  

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