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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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a space for youth writing on mental health & identity
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![]() [content warning: self harm, eating disorder, mentions of sexual assault, internalized homophobia, OCD rituals] 1. i practise folding myself into a matchbox. keep an hourglass in my bathroom to remember what to become. and now: i am always out of time. my hair falls out before my body falls in; i broke a mirror with my edges and my skin broke too. know this: i was someone before i was my unmaking. f orks, swords. spoons, distorted mirrors. there is i rony in saving yourself when it hurts. i try to r inse my mouth of hunger. (someday i won’t flinch when i e at) 2. i don’t leave the house alone. faceless men and cigarettes. the ghosts of their handprints don’t wash off. i throw out my favourite shirts and leave my soul in my bedsheets every morning. there is nowhere to go. these days i wake up
f alling. and i don't like to be touched. not since that night in the marketplace and r andom grabbing hands. now i see demons in everyone's e yes. 3. the world is ending. stop. listen. that is the sound of something breaking. shhh. let the crows sing. but don't feel it loudly. everyone pretends death isn't an inevitability. d ense cities, crooked skylines & streets; home is e asy to lose. the a ir here will kill you. t hey make it abroad and send it h ere for free 4. my mother has me pray to keep the nightmares at bay. i drag my nights into my day. why does exhaustion never slow my nerves? compulsions distributed down my spinal cord. d ear ammu, are you e ver afraid you’ll drown in your sleep? i keep myself a wake, my rituals circular. how much t herapy before i am hollow? h ow much more before i heal? Comments are closed.
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November 2023
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