파 팬케이크 (Scallion Pancakes) by Alex Choi (18, Virginia)

a halmoni's recipe 
     one with withered paper 
          scribbled calligraphy 
               rustic annotations 
                     a dilapidated polaroid 
i see as an ember of burning reels of film 

boyish and coyish boy 
     flitters like an amorphous shadow 
           that is half as dark 
      because the light that shines 
is only half as radiant ​

---

he is a stranger and myself 
     often one in the same 
          yet he is blind of what lies ahead 
     of what is right in front of him 
dreams of a la la land 

the viscous dough congeals to my hands 
      the roux over the hotplate never seems to set 
           there’s no difference out from in; 
           i sense and am 
     the dough that sticks 
the effervescent roux that never thickens 

                                           limbo: the nothingness between life and void 
my palms press into the grains of the rolling pin 
      the tiredness of my bones 
            seeps into the tissue of my marrow 
      ripe empty vessels for sorrow 
is this my reparation for a lost heritage? 

tears of a muted spirit 
      fall through the cutting board 
           like a wisp of ethereal moonlight 
      yet the boy tells me 
i cry because I’m chopping scallions. ​